im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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