I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
