so explain again why im purple
no
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
