Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
