I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I've blown a few things in my day
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
