So drunk its hurt
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
