ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
