worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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