His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
