who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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