For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
