he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
