he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize