Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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