Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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