I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize