We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize