Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
