At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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