Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
