My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize