You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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