no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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