The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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