come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
