The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
