I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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