i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
