She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
