Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
