Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You can't motorboat a personality
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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