After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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