$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
