Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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