in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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