Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
