Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
