You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
