We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
do nipples grow back?
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