am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize