Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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