I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
