I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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