That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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