people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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