hotel room ftw
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
