when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
