Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
