ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
