Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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