Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
