lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
