i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
