i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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