How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
