What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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