i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Couch. On fire.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
