you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
