True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
