Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
