I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
